Does Losing Your Virginity Hurt?

Sex is discussed everywhere around us: friends are talking about it, so are the characters in TV shows and movies, and the articles in magazines. Sometimes, even family members talk about it. Thus, it may be not clear what is true from all that has being said, and there is a lot of curiosity regarding sex when growing up. With some confusion and curiosity, it is normal to wonder whether losing your virginity hurt or not. Here you will find the answers, as well as some girls' feeling about it.

Does Losing Your Virginity Hurt?

It can hurt a little or a lot for some people. Some women also tend to bleed when they lose their virginity.

Having pain during sex could be lack of lubrication or the position might not work for you. The pain can also be caused if there is a lot of pressure, if the act is getting too fast or you are nervous. It can also happen when the above causes are combined.

Bleeding which occurs when having sex for the first time is due to the rupture of hymen. Hymen is a thin membrane covering the vaginal opening and protecting it as well. The membrane allows menstrual fluid to pass through the membrane during periods. However, it is also possible for the hymen to get ruptured early in life due to various other reasons like sports, exercising or horse riding.

If you are afraid of the pain, however, there is some good news. There will be some pain but it is not crippling pain and not a reason to worry. The feeling associated with having sex for the first time or losing your virginity is a very personal one. Depending on the experiences girls have talked about, it can be felt as a fun, comfortable and pleasurable time, instead of pain.

The video below talks about very personal experiences of losing virginity, you can also watch it to know other's answer to "Does losing your virginity hurt or not?"

Some Girls' Experiences of Losing Virginity

Since losing virginity is really a personal experience, below we will look at experiences of some girls. These might answer your question of "Does losing your virginity hurt?"

We were both teenagers, I was 15 and he was 19 when I lost my virginity. I had not had sex before and I do not think he did either. I had indulged in giving blow jobs and getting fingered. I was prepared and didn’t think it was a big deal. It did not hurt, but it was not good either. I was not aroused and wondered if I was asexual. We talked about it later and then had pleasurable sex.   

- 18 years, Utah

All my friends had lost their virginity and I was waiting to turn at least 16. I went to a gin and juice party after I turned 16. I met the hottest guy there and went with him to the trampoline. There was nothing magical about it, neither was it like what I imagined it to be: painful and uncomfortable. But it leads to interesting conversations.   

- 31 years, Virginia

We were both virgins and he was my first love. We had a party going on in my house. We were in the bedroom on the top floor and finally got around to doing it. I was on top and did not feel any pain, nor did I bleed. It was a wonderful experience and I even had an orgasm. We remained together for 2.5 years and I was heartbroken when we broke up.  

- 43 years, Pennsylvania

How to Reduce the Pain of Losing Your Virginity

If you think the answer to "Does losing your virginity hurt" is it will be very painful, here we will give you some tips on how to make it less painful and a pleasurable experience for the very first time.

  • ŸWant to have sex: If you really feel like having sex, it will make you feel good. If you are forced to have sex, it will end up as a painful experience. If you are not ready for intercourse, indulge in other activities.
  • ŸLike to have sex: Sex is a healthy and fun way to bond with your partner. If you consider it as a taboo, you will not enjoy it. When you look at it positively, you will be more sexually satisfied.
  • ŸMentally prepare yourself for sex: Spend time to think about what you expect from this experience and what it means to you. Although you will never be fully prepared, being ready for it will make it a more pleasurable experience.
  • ŸWork on your feelings: Any type of sex will cause some emotional response to us. You can analyze how sex makes you feel and how you react if things do not go the way you plan. Setting your expectations would be good.
  • ŸWork on your body: You should look at your body positively and in a good way. You should be ready for contraceptive methods. You should think of what will make you feel safe and comfortable and thus enjoy the sex.
  • ŸPractice: You should masturbate to know what works for you. It will let you know how and where you should be touched to be aroused. You will know what you like and don't. You can use this experience while having sex.
  • ŸLove or lust: Sex is more enjoyable if you do it with someone you love or lust for. It gives more pleasure and can be less painful. Although it can be an emotional experience, definitely it is a better option.
  • ŸWoman on top: For the first time, woman on top position is suggested. That will help you in controlling the depth, the angle, speed and movement. Being in control will ease the pain and make you less nervous.
  • ŸUse lubrication: If you are not well lubricated, it will make sex painful. Nervousness will cause the muscles to tense and make sex painful. Lubrication will make sex pleasurable and comfortable.
  • ŸStay away from drugs and alcohol: Drugs and alcohol tend to make you lose track of your actions. You should be aware of what is happening and take cues from your body. First time should ideally happen when you are sober.
  • ŸUse protection: If you are worried about pregnancy or getting STDs, you will not enjoy the intercourse. Talk about it with your partner before you have sex and use condom so that it does not keep your mind occupied.
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