Feeling Unloved in a Relationship

It is awful to feel unloved. Tragic as it may seem, this is pretty common in today’s world. But it’s not end of the world. Even if you feel that way, someone maybe in love with you all the same. Feeling unloved in a relationship from time to time can make you wretched and frustrated. This generates confusion and you may end up quarrelling with your partner over silly things and the used to be perfect relation starts wrecking until both of you are feeling hopeless and exhausted.

Even when your partner does love you, you may feel unloved anyway and some related factors may help you understand yourself better and your feelings well enough.

What to Do If I Feel Unloved in a Relationship?

1.    Change Your Perspective

The first thing that you need to do is change your perspective, and look at things differently. It is okay if you feel validated once you find yourself being loved by your partner but it shouldn’t be everything that matters.

  • The first thing that you must do is regain your self-esteem. With a strong personality frame you will be able to see everything differently. Reacting emotionally to what you partner does or does not do for you can ravage your relationship.
  • Instead of being negative about things, try to look for the positive side. If he yawns while talking to you, don’t think it’s because he’s not interested in you, maybe he must be tired after a long day at work. Try soothing him down a bit and you’ll see how lovingly he responds to your gesture.
  • When you are strong enough not to seek someone’s approval or validation, you’ll be less disappointed and hurt when your partner does not meet your expectations at times. This will stabilize your relation and you’ll not end up feeling unloved in a relationship.

2.    Say What’s on Your Mind

There’s no point keeping secrets from each other when you are in a relationship. If you have any complaints just tell your partner. Be direct about your feelings as it is no shame in opening your heart to him. Tell your partner how you feel lonely at times, and how things upset you, and then tell him what you think he can do to help you feel less lonely and good about yourself. Of course he loves you and he’ll listen patiently. Be very selective with your tone and words; don’t make it sound like it’s his fault as nobody likes to take the blame. Once you are done telling him you’ll see how he co-operates to make your relationship stronger.

3.    Bring Some Quality Time to the Table

The element of ‘’intimacy’’ makes the relationship beautiful and long lasting. However it develops over time with adequate communication. Make sure you and your partner spend plenty of quality time doing things together. If your partner stays busy and if you two are drifting apart tell him how you think more quality time will change things for both of you. Let him know you desire his ultimate attention.

4.    Be a Patient Listener

When in a relationship, just spilling things out of your heart won’t do. Sometimes you have to take the other job and be the patient active listener. Pay full attention when your partner is talking to you and focus on each and everything he says. Don’t hand out your opinions or respond emotionally until you fully fathom what he’s trying to convey. To build any relationship, you need both verbal and non-verbal communication.

5.    Be Candid and Straightforward

Make sure you do not lie to your partner and tell him whatever is on your mind without really hurting his feelings. Be clear with what you want and stay as candid as possible. Be fearless to reveal your sensitive side and embrace intimacy as your partner accepts you in every possible way. Of course it’s not easy to open up your sentimental side to someone but your partner loves you and wants to be with you. If you are feeling sad let him know instead of acting all weird on him because you don’t want him to find out about your feelings. How is your partner supposed to help you when you won’t even let him in?

6.    Make Some Time for Yourself

Take some time out for yourself when you can give your life and relationship a deep thought and figure things out to strengthen your relationship. It will increase your desire to explore intimacy and you are less likely to end up feeling unloved in a relationship.

7.    Play Dates

Plan some play dates with your partner just to have fun without involving and complicated or serious discussion over matters. Add some sparks by talking about things that you and your partner don’t normally talk about. Sometimes being spontaneous can make the moments magical.


  • Make sure you establish anequilibrium between togetherness and separateness with your partner.
  • Quit playing the blame game and instead of criticizing each other, end the argument by making peace.
  • Remember it’s not your partner but his schedule that’s bothering you. Find ways to build an intimate relation.
  • It’s not wise to have him live up to your expectations. Expecting more can only lead to disappointment. Sometimes one person may want more than enough while the other one wants to give less, being in such a relation can really complicate things, understand each other just the way you are.
  • Before loving someone else, fall in love with yourself all over again. Be your own best friend and let no one steal your spotlight. Be compassionate, loving and kind to yourself.
  • Always choose love over everything. Before going to bed forgive yourself and everyone else just to give yourself peace of mind. 
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