My Girlfriend Is Depressed, How to Help?

It is quite challenging to be in a relationship with someone suffering from anxiety or depression. While you may definitely wish you could turn a switch to make things better for other person in your life, things do not work that way. You need to handle things carefully and understand that one wrong step can hurt your relationship big time. Many people ask, "What should I do when my girlfriend is depressed?" The most important thing is to be patient and compassionate. Your girlfriend needs your support and you should always be there for her. Here are more things you should and should not do.

What to Do If My Girlfriend Is Depressed?

People who have someone dealing with depression always ask, "What steps can I take to deal with a depressed girlfriend?" Here are a few tips to help make things better.

  • Understand her situation. Sometimes, what you think is stress or burden is in fact clinical depression, especially when you notice she finds it difficult to do the basic things like get dressed or take a shower. Be there for her.
  • Encourage her to pay attention to her health. Play your role in helping her maintain good hygiene. Take an initiative and give her things that may make her feel better such as comfort items, magazines, favorite music, healthy food, etc.
  • Tell her how much you love her and show her that! It is important to share your feelings with her and console her. She should know how much you love her. You need to help her feel reassured that you will always be around for her. This will strengthen her self-esteem and self-awareness.

Always try to do things that help her cheer up a bit. It could be a simple text message saying how much you love her and think about her.

  • My girlfriend is depressed, what to do? Show some patience! Understand that it takes time to get out of depression and your patience and support will make it easier for your girlfriend. Make sure not to be dismissive or things will go bad.
  • Play your part and help her get proper treatment. You need to understand that clinical depression needs treatment. Do some research and explain to her that she can get medical help to feel better. Do not push her though or make her feel as if something is very wrong with her. Make an appointment with a doctor and be there with her.
  • Don’t try to rush things when she is getting treatment. There is no magic pill to treat clinical depression and every treatment option will take time. Always support your girlfriend throughout the treatment. Be patient while she is receiving therapy.
  • Find some support in friends and family members. Having people who care about you and your relationship with your girlfriend will make things a lot easier. It is important to have a support group work around her. This will really help her feel optimistic about things and give her power to get out of her depression.
  • Engage in productive activities with her. Do not leave her home all the time. Go on hikes together, arrange a picnic, or make art together. You may even go to a show together. It is all about spending some quality time together to change her mood and outlook.
  • Talk optimistically. You need to listen to her when she talks about her issues and explain things in a positive way. Share some ways to help her feel better when she talks about suffering. Give her hope and you won't have to ask, "What to do when my girlfriend is depressed?"
  • Avoid hurting her. You need to understand her triggers and make sure that you do not set them off. When she is depressed, she is likely to get upset about things you may not think are that important. You need to be proactive and understand her body language and avoid getting in any argument when she is in a bad mood.
  • Do not enter her personal space. While it is important to support her all the time in whatever condition she is, you need to give her some space to heal on her own. Let her think about what is rational. Encourage her to join a restorative yoga class and find a new hobby to improve her confidence, peace of mind, and self-awareness.
  • Share your feelings gently but try to be honest about everything. It is important that you share your fears, thoughts, frustrations, ideas, dreams, and revelations with her. Tell her what makes you feel happy in your relationship and what makes you excited about her.
  • Learn to draw boundaries when meeting other women. When she is depressed, you need to be very careful when meeting other women. She already has fear that you will leave her because of her illness and seeing you close to someone else is surely going to make things worse. Moreover, you should allow those women enter your life who respect your relationship with your girlfriend.

What About Sex?

So many people say, "My girlfriend is depressed and we do not have sex anymore. Should we do something different to make things normal?"You need to understand that when your girlfriend is depressed, she may not show interest in anything. This may even make you feel very unloved and unwanted. While it can definitely be an ego-crushing time, you need to show some patience and realize that it is nothing personal.

 Understand that she is not well, and depression can affect bodily functions, including sleep and sex. Loss of libido is common, and you cannot force her to engage in any sexual activity while she is depressed. This is only going to make things worse. While she is under supervision of a healthcare provider, you can always resort to masturbation.

Taking Care of Yourself

Your help and support will make it a lot easier for your girlfriend to recover quickly. However, this will test your limits and may drain your energy. You need to understand that it is equally important to take care of yourself. It is therefore important spend some "me time" and explore some hobbies and interest of your own. Socialize with people in your life and even consider participating in a support group where others can offer advice.

What Others Say

"I also asked “my girlfriend is depressed, what should I do?”  I believe that the most important thing is to validate her feelings and make her believe that you are with her all the time and totally support the way she feels. You need to earn her trust to go any further."

"My girlfriend suffers from anxiety and depression. I had the same issues in the past, but things are better for me now. I believe the best thing is to be always around to help and support her. Be active. Understand her feelings. Spoil her, let her vent, and share some quality time with her. Give her love to help accept and understand what she is going through."

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